Jealousy and our stereotypes

 

Jealousy is a weird thing. A feeling, perhaps. A feeling that strikes up hatred among friends and family. It is not only the main cause of almost all of Shakespeare's tragedies, but it is also an ever-present villain in our day to day lives.

I was brought up in such a way that there is not much for me to be jealous of. My parents have always provided me with all that I would ever want or need without spoiling or pampering me. I also often take pride in my ability to appreciate someone's success without a single trace of malice in my heart and have always been able to reciprocate my feelings towards all my loved ones and feel genuine happiness in their delight. Yet, I must confess that nowadays I find myself stuck in reels of jealousy and look upon myself in horror, shameful of what I've become. It is not material things that I'm jealous of, nor people, nor their lifestyle. I'm jealous of the relationship people can have with other people. Not affection or anything merely driven by lust. Instead, in the way people can talk to one another, barring the borders of gender, race, caste, religion and so on. You might say, "Well, Varsha, we live in a free world. We are free to talk to people irrespective of the borders that once separated us. Why do you need to feel jealous about it? There is nothing to be jealous of." But still, as a citizen of India, I think I speak for all Indians when I say we are very much restricted. Even as our country advertises equality, freedom and fraternity, being a sovereign, socialist, democratic, republic, we tend to be pulled down along the margins of diversity. It is not unity in diversity that we showcase, but instead diversity in of diversity itself. 

I look around my surroundings and see many people who are able to love unconditionally, and it amazes me how they can. Even my parents; they continue to be a great example for unconditional love.  I think I can safely say that they can face any adversity free of all consequences if they both are together. If a zombie apocalypse terrorizes our nation (and I believe that it might be due in the near future) and both of them are confronted by zombies who pose the highest level of threat there is, they would probably joke their way out of it. Together. It is fun and nice to see such a smooth relationship. Me, on the other hand, I feel like every single acquaintance I create now has at the least a few elements of "fakeness" in it. I cannot act natural. Neither, to my dismay, can the people acquainting with me. I find it hard to talk straight to people without judging them and feeling that I am being judged back. I fear what the society will infer from my behavior or character. It is more of an inferiority complex. Our country is rearing robots of no life or feelings or empathy, who either feel inferior or superior to the society, with very few exceptions. What they teach us in school is how to act and behave so that we appease the expectations of the society. Stand-up comedians are despised here precisely for the very same reasons. For speaking their minds. That is, unless they manage to become highly successful, in which case the society agrees to what they say and continue judging everyone around them still. In short, we as an Indian culture, are undergoing a mass change throughout our lifespan. We are becoming hypocrites. 

In conclusion, I would very much appreciate it if the society (including me, of course) took a break from judging others. We all do it (including me). It is because it is in our cultural genes. More like cultural gaps. For those who strongly disagree with me, think. Are you someone who talks behind the back of a girl wearing sleeveless tops and proceeds to shame her for revealing too much, while you yourself are wearing a saree which exposes three quarters of your stomach? Are you a man who says it must be a lady driving when a driver in front of you violates a traffic rule? Are you someone who believes that women should not ride bikes and men should not grow their hair? Do you believe that people who color their hair will at some point in their life be involved in a drug ring? If your answer to all of the above questions is no, I ask you to revaluate the way you describe someone you just met. You might probably mention their complexion, and then valuate their level of beauty based on the amount of melanin in their skin, the classic Indian way. If you don't, then good. All Indians must become like you. But if you do, I say its not your fault. We have all been engineered that way and the only solution out of this mess is to change our perception and start anew, like I plan on doing this new year.