Another Article
I had abstained from writing (or blogging, to be precise) for about six months till date, and now is certainly not the time to resume the hobby considering the fact that my third semester exams have begun (in fact I have one tomorrow). But I cannot help myself. I got over my writer's block and am overflowing with ideas ever since the timetable for the examination arrived, so tolerate my rambling.
As usual, the topic involves History. One might ask why I am so fascinated with the subject. The answer is simple- I love stories. I love funny stories even more; Which is why my topic for today is going to be great. Alexander the Great.(Kind of like Bond. James Bond)
I was scrolling through my screen two months (circa) ago and came across my friend Pavithra's Whatsapp Status. Pavithra had put a video about Mona Lisa- merely ten seconds long- with the background music "Oh look at all the lonely people" which is actually the song 'Eleanor Rugby' by The Beatles. The flashback of the video came to me today at 11:53 am and I thought- why not write an article about Mona Lisa?
But when I started doing my research on the subject, I may have got a bit distracted. I could not stop myself from clicking successive links in Wikipedia pages and before long, I had somehow landed on Alexander the Great. (Actually I landed on his father Philip's page but then when I searched about him I saw a theory that Alexander had murdered his father so I HAD to click it -because murders in history fascinate me- and when I finished reading the article, I thought- Why not Alexander?)
But then I realized that whilst writing about Alexander the Great, I simply CANNOT skirt a prominent woman in his life- his mother. She was awesome and different. I simply HAVE to include her in this article, at least mention her. And so I just did.
(Philip II is also a good read. The funny thing is that Wikipedia has a list of his children in his page under the title "Issues".)
Alexander the Great (whose official full name was Alexander III of Macedon, but we will ignore the ancient Greeks' obsession with adding numbers and birth places to their names) was the son of Philip II (and he has my respect for not naming his first son Philip III) and Olympias. From age 13 to 16, he was disciplined on various subjects by Aristotle, whom he had great respect for as a teacher. However, Aristotle believed that non-Greeks should be treated as slaves, and Alexander did not like that. So he dropped out, but only after learning all the essential stuff that was vital for his role as a potential king.
(That's right, Aristotle. He was using you)
Frankly speaking, I hate Aristotle myself, but I'll write more about that in another article.
In the year 340, Philip went to attack Byzantium and left the country to his son for safekeeping (or safeguarding. Whatever be the right terminology), who at the time was about 16 years old. Alexander did not waste time and defeated the Thracians, thereby marking a beginning to his conquering streak. Two years later he conquered another twenty-or-so bunches of people and was rewarded handsomely for breaking up 'The Sacred Band of Thebes', which was not a jazz band like I initially thought, but instead an elite military corps composed of 150 pairs of lovers (which is a very weird criterion for admission into a rebel group). A year later Philip divorced Olympias, and, after a quarrel at a feast held to celebrate his father’s new marriage, Alexander and his mother fled to Epirus, and Alexander later went to Illyria. Shortly afterward, father and son were reconciled and Alexander returned, but his position as heir was jeopardized. (Note that this is a potential motive for murder, but more on that later)
In 336, however, Philip was assassinated and Alexander succeeded the throne without any opposition. The story of Philip's assassination is quite intriguing. The assassin struck in a theater at a place called Aegae (pronounced "a guy"), watched by a crowd who had travelled from all over Macedonia and Greece to show support for the king. As soon as Philip made his grand entrance, one of his bodyguards, a young man named Pausanias produced a concealed dagger from beneath his cloak, stabbed Philip between the ribs and ran for his life. However, he tripped on a nonchalant vine root, fell down rather unceremoniously and was swiftly executed by his fellow bodyguards. (Pausanias' motive is also an interesting one, but I will include all of that in another article about Philip's death. That's right. There is one more.)
After ascending the throne, Alexander at once executed the princes of Lyncestis, alleged to be the mastermind behind Philip’s murder, along with all possible rivals and the whole of the faction opposed to him (Like King Henry, who blamed his enemies for random things and found excuses to execute them. Read my article on King Henry- its pretty good if you ask me). After that he went on a conquering spree and subsequently annexed Triballi, dispersed the Getae, shattered the Illyrians, razed the city of Thebes wherein he killed 6000 people in the process and sold the others to slavery (then why did he differ in opinion with Aristotle? Maybe Alexander meant that the Greeks AND the non-Greeks should be EQUALLY treated. As SLAVES.)
Ever since his accession, Alexander had set his mind on the Persian expedition. It apparently had been his childhood dream to capture Persia (I was very surprised when I read that he spent his childhood dreaming about that. My childhood dream had been to grow a mustache. Weird, I know). In spring 334, he crossed the Dardanelles, leaving Antipater, who had already faithfully served his father, as his deputy in Europe with over 13,000 men; he himself commanded about 30,000 foot and over 5,000 cavalry, of whom nearly 14,000 were Macedonians and about 7,000 allies sent by the Greek League. This army was to prove remarkable for its balanced combination of arms.
After a short visit to Troy (because why not?), he confronted the Persian army at the Granicus River. The Persian plan to tempt Alexander across the river and kill him amid the confusion almost succeeded; but the Persians themselves got confused, and Alexander won. On hearing of this victory, many regions of Asia Minor hastily surrendered to Alexander without him even asking them to. Democracies were installed, but the supreme commander was still Alexander himself. In Caria, a city named Halicarnassus (It took me 2 minutes to read that) resisted and was stormed, but a lady named Ada, who was the widow AND sister of the Idrieus (who was one of the governors of Halicarnassus until his death. At the time incest was quite common among bigshots), ADOPTED ALEXANDER AS HER SON and, after expelling her BROTHER Pixodarus, Alexander restored her to her satrapy (her rightful post as the governor of the area).
Alexander went on to conquer western Asia Minor, the Mediterranean coast and Egypt. After conquering Egypt, Alexander faced Darius and his massive troops at Gaugamela (not Gargamel from 'The Smurfs') in October 331 B.C. Following fierce fighting and heavy losses on both sides, Darius fled and was assassinated by his own troops (embrace the "Et tu, Brute?" moment). It is said Alexander was sad when he found Darius’s body and he gave him a royal burial.
BUT WHY DID HE GO TO WAR IF HE DID NOT WANT HIS OPPONENT TO DIE?!
And I thought my feelings were confusing.
Finally rid of Darius, Alexander proclaimed himself King of Persia. But the persians could not just allow him to become King so easily, because that would be no fun. So they played hard to get. To gain their support, Alexander started changing his ways to apt to the Persian culture. He began dressing like a Persian and adopted the practice of Proskynesis, a Persian court custom that involved bowing down and kissing the hand of others, depending on their rank.
Another funny death story was that of Alexander's best friend Cleitus. Fed up with Alexander, who was spending a lot of time playing dress up with the Persians, Cleitus got drunk (because he was jealous that he was third wheeling what with the Persians in the picture) and began to insult Alexander to such an extent that he said Alexander had won all the wars because of sheer luck and not skill (Okay maybe not EXACTLY like that but something along the lines. And in ancient Macedonian language). Annoyed, Alexander took a spear that was lying nearby and killed Cleitus, after which he said "Uh-oh" and began to lament. This incident scarred him for life.
After this he meets a refugee girl whom he initially mistakes for a rock, falls in love and marries her. Their baby's name was Alexander IV.
(allow me to sigh in frustration because of the ancient naming system and their lack of imagination)
Now comes the good part- Alexander in India.
In 327 B.C., Alexander marched on Punjab, India. Some tribes surrendered peacefully; others did not. One year later, Alexander met King Porus of Paurava at the Hydaspes River. Porus’s army was less experienced than Alexander’s, but they had elephants, and having elephants is always good. However, Porus still lost, after a fierce battle in a raging thunderstorm. Alexander's beloved (and extremely famous) horse, Bucephalus (the one that was scared of its own shadow) died in the battle (although the cause of death remains unclear) but Alexander named a city after him.
For your information, Alexander named more than seventy cities after himself (talk about an extremely inflated ego) and one after his horse.
Alexander wanted to conquer the rest of India but his soldiers refused as they had run out of their lifetime adrenaline supply; In the end, he begrudgingly returned to Persia. However on the way back he got caught up in a battle with the Malli, wherein he got severely wounded.
He reached back to Susa in Persia and conducted a mass wedding to unite Macedonians and Persians, forced many of his officers to marry Persian princesses and even took two for himself.
(Trust me, when I typed that sentenced I felt like I was talking about food or horses or something, certainly not two human women.)
The Macedonian army resented Alexander’s attempt to change their culture and many mutinied. But after Alexander took a firm stand and replaced Macedonian officers and troops with Persians, his army backed down. But then Alexander felt bad (like he always does after he does something stupid), returned their titles and hosted a huge reconciliation banquet.
Alexander the Great died in June 323 B.C. at age 32.
The cause of his death, however, remains unknown. Some say it was due to malaria. Some others say that he was poisoned. Many others believe that he died of Appendicitis (though I think that theory is far-fetched, as is the theory that he died of fever). A recent theory states that he might have died due to a neurological disorder called Guillain-Barré Syndrome (GBS).
GBS is a serious autoimmune disorder in which the immune system attacks healthy cells in the nervous system, slowly killing the person if not treated immediately. Severe cases of Guillain-Barré syndrome are rarely seen, but can result in near-total paralysis. The syndrome can affect the nerves that control muscle movement as well as those that transmit pain, temperature and touch sensations. This can result in muscle weakness, loss of sensation in the legs and/or arms, and problems swallowing or breathing.
Dr. Katherine Hall, a senior lecturer at the Dunedin School of Medicine at the University of Otago, New Zealand, wrote in a 2018 article published in 'The Ancient History Bulletin', that the increasing paralysis Alexander suffered, as well as the fact that his body needed less oxygen as it shut down, would have meant that his breathing was less visible. Because in ancient times, doctors relied on the presence or absence of breath, rather than a pulse, to determine whether a patient was alive or dead, Hall believes that Alexander might have been falsely declared dead before he actually died.
Now comes the good part- Alexander in India.
In 327 B.C., Alexander marched on Punjab, India. Some tribes surrendered peacefully; others did not. One year later, Alexander met King Porus of Paurava at the Hydaspes River. Porus’s army was less experienced than Alexander’s, but they had elephants, and having elephants is always good. However, Porus still lost, after a fierce battle in a raging thunderstorm. Alexander's beloved (and extremely famous) horse, Bucephalus (the one that was scared of its own shadow) died in the battle (although the cause of death remains unclear) but Alexander named a city after him.
For your information, Alexander named more than seventy cities after himself (talk about an extremely inflated ego) and one after his horse.
Alexander wanted to conquer the rest of India but his soldiers refused as they had run out of their lifetime adrenaline supply; In the end, he begrudgingly returned to Persia. However on the way back he got caught up in a battle with the Malli, wherein he got severely wounded.
He reached back to Susa in Persia and conducted a mass wedding to unite Macedonians and Persians, forced many of his officers to marry Persian princesses and even took two for himself.
(Trust me, when I typed that sentenced I felt like I was talking about food or horses or something, certainly not two human women.)
The Macedonian army resented Alexander’s attempt to change their culture and many mutinied. But after Alexander took a firm stand and replaced Macedonian officers and troops with Persians, his army backed down. But then Alexander felt bad (like he always does after he does something stupid), returned their titles and hosted a huge reconciliation banquet.
Alexander the Great died in June 323 B.C. at age 32.
The cause of his death, however, remains unknown. Some say it was due to malaria. Some others say that he was poisoned. Many others believe that he died of Appendicitis (though I think that theory is far-fetched, as is the theory that he died of fever). A recent theory states that he might have died due to a neurological disorder called Guillain-Barré Syndrome (GBS).
GBS is a serious autoimmune disorder in which the immune system attacks healthy cells in the nervous system, slowly killing the person if not treated immediately. Severe cases of Guillain-Barré syndrome are rarely seen, but can result in near-total paralysis. The syndrome can affect the nerves that control muscle movement as well as those that transmit pain, temperature and touch sensations. This can result in muscle weakness, loss of sensation in the legs and/or arms, and problems swallowing or breathing.
Dr. Katherine Hall, a senior lecturer at the Dunedin School of Medicine at the University of Otago, New Zealand, wrote in a 2018 article published in 'The Ancient History Bulletin', that the increasing paralysis Alexander suffered, as well as the fact that his body needed less oxygen as it shut down, would have meant that his breathing was less visible. Because in ancient times, doctors relied on the presence or absence of breath, rather than a pulse, to determine whether a patient was alive or dead, Hall believes that Alexander might have been falsely declared dead before he actually died.
That is, he might have been buried alive.
(Dramatic pause for effect)
That is how Alexander died- a slow and painful death. Mine will probably be the same too- tomorrow, in the examination hall, considering the fact that I am yet to open my book.
That is how Alexander died- a slow and painful death. Mine will probably be the same too- tomorrow, in the examination hall, considering the fact that I am yet to open my book.
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Amazing Varsha. I Liked the tongue in cheeks language and the humour. A content of value put across in a very attractive and hilarious manner. Couldn't lift my eyes off the article. Way to go girl
ReplyDeleteThank you, sir🥰❤️
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